Phyllis and John live in the house next to mine. Phyllis and I talk often so I am very familiar with the challenges that she and her husband are facing at the age of 85. Starting in January of this year, her husband John became ill. John's main health concern was Alzheimer's, however he has also battled colon cancer and even strokes. In January, John was diagnosed with kidney failure and this started a 7 month ordeal of hospital stays, nursing home facilities, home health, and finally hospice care. Phyllis had opinions on each place of care that I would like to relate.
Phyllis was very pleased with the care her husband received while in the hospital. They monitored his every move and John's health greatly improved from his stay there. The hospital eventually released him and John was allowed to return home. Not long after, John's health deteriorated again and he was admitted again into the hospital. After a short stay there, they placed him in a nursing home that was 40 minutes away from Phyllis's house. During these few months of taking care of John, Phyllis came down with pneumonia and was very ill and very weak, yet she continued to make the 40 minute drive to see her husband of 68 years. In an attempt to bring him closer, Phyllis decided to place him in a nursing facility that was only five minutes away. She felt that this was necessary to be able to maintain her own health so that she could continue to visit with him. It only took a couple weeks before Phyllis noticed a drastic difference in John.
John started to have bed sores, he used to sing every morning, but was now quiet and subdued. Phyllis felt that this was a reflection of the lack of care at that facility. She tried to approach administration with her concerns but was instead told that there was nothing wrong and that she just needed to relax. Phyllis was so frustrated that she made the decision to bring him home, that even in her frail condition, she could care for him better than this facility could. Phyllis brought John home and took good care of him for two days, but when the home health nurse came to check on him, there were big problems, and John was admitted once again to the hospital. John's life was near the end and hospice got involved.
With the help of hospice, Phyllis was able to bring John home one last time. During the last month of his life, hospice came by not only to help John, but to help Phyllis as well. The would take care of John while she ran errands, and in the last moments of John's life, there was a nurse from Hospice there with Phyllis to be a guide through the entire death process. Several of the nurses from hospice even stopped by the house to check on Phyllis after John's death.
I learned a lot watching Phyllis go through this experience. I am so grateful that there are facilities out there that are able to care for their patients, and to provide optimal care. I am also saddened that there are facilities that do not care for their patients as well as they should, or provide the care and support for the families like they should. I most of all am grateful for the hospice program. I have never heard a negative comment about them. I am grateful that they were their to help and support Phyllis in such a huge way. I wish more could be done to make sure those who are entrusted with the care of our elderly actually provide care and encourage health instead of being neglectful.
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